THE CLOSET..

WHEN IT COMES BACK TO BITE YOU IN THE ARSE..

2011-07-28T21:40:00.000+10:00

I met an amazing American guy last year after my LTR broke up, but being American... he of course lives in America. I am in Sydney.

On a whim, and part of a soul-searching expedition, I chose California (where he is from) as my destination. I went over there to see if there was anything between us. There was, but... well, we live in separate countries with little intention of budging in order to be with one another. I'd hoped for more, but was okay with just having been with him.

The problem is, I was sort of seeing a guy back here in Sydney. And since I've come back our relationship has somewhat blossomed. He surprises me with his love and affection every day and I am starting to not imagine the world without him in it.

Of course, there is still my American... lingering in the back of my mind. And this morning he finally tells me it’s starting to bother him seeing pictures of my new guy and I together on Facebook and that he doesn’t like that he was the ‘other guy’, and wouldn’t like being cheated on if I were his boyfriend.

I insisted that my new guy and I were only dating in the beginning when I went to America, but nothing was exclusive at that time... but really I had no rationale for the situation because let’s face it, I was having my cake and eating it too. It was the first time for me in doing anything like that and eats away at me still.

I don’t regret what happened with the American... hell, I'd do it again. But I'm glad my Australian new guy is the one that lives in Australia.

THE EDGE OF GLORY..

2011-07-20T18:37:00.000+10:00

SO I know it's fake, but it's a little beautiful don't you think?

TEACH ME THE WAYS..

2011-07-19T22:41:00.000+10:00

I was reading the social opinion pages of our local Sydney gay rag about cross-generational relationships. And it got me thinking about my new relationship with a 20 yo. I call him Padawan because I just assumed it would be me teaching him about life, about sex, and about love. Turns out, he's also teaching me...

I was hell reluctant to pursue anything with him because of his age and lack of life experience. I mean, I consider myself cultured and well travelled. I know how the world works and even if I don't I've got a pretty good idea of what to expect.

When we met across that alcohol-swashed floor at Stonewall I said casually to my friend "I want that one..." Eventually my friend pulled him close and said "Have you met Cain?". He hadn't. But we both assumed each other was roughly 24 or 25. Turns out there's an eleven year gap there. And so went up my wall.

A wall. Me! Never in my life had I put up a wall preventing the free love from flowing to a well-deserving suitor. Yet, there it was.

What's interesting with my Padawan is he never forced his way into my heart, he let me be. Without being aware of the hurt that I'd felt coming out of my last relationship (someone similar to me in age), we just took our time and got to know each other.. conversely, sexually. There's something to be said for a 20 yo who is comfortable with who he is, not overtly sexual trying to prove being gay is a birthright. But just happy to have someone of his own to think is the most amazing person in his world.

I'm probably teaching him a lot of stuff... but even at thirty I learning too.

VERY BAD MAN BETWEEN MY THIGHS..

2011-07-18T18:33:00.001+10:00

I can feel my phone vibrating, but it's probably a little inappropriate to take a call from my mother right now. I know it's her because it has just been followed by another vibration which I assume is a voicemail text which a message that goes something along the lines of "Hi, it's your mother. Just wondering how you are because we haven't heard from you in a while," which would only be 2 days, mind you.

Anyway it is not exactly convenient to take a call right now from my mother because I'll only say something akin to Bridget Jones when she answers the phone with "...very bad man between her thighs!"

And that's how I roll...off him. The very bad man in question is someone I invited back to my place because his grindr profile (a cheeky scowl accompanied by a fiercely cut chest) claimed that while he got on well with his friends' mothers, he was also the guy that taught them to smoke and make out. And so ensued a challenge that I too got on well with my friends' mothers to the point where one of them gave me some helpful advice over vodka. The advice my friends was to not have too much anal sex at risk of loosening the sphincter. Advice when I was 17 and still in the closet, mind you.

So naturally the chitchat turned to an invitation which was accepted and fulfilled. Barely waiting for me to close the door behind him he tackled me to the floor. A willing recipient we made out for a while, our rough beards causing what now looks like I had my face forced in a tub of cranberry juice. Eventually though, we made it to my bedroom where clothes were torn and alleged cut chest was revealed.

It's best my mother never knows what happened next, so I might just lay here for a while until my sphincter returns to normal.

EXTERFACE: UNICORN..

2010-04-15T10:33:00.000+10:00

Rawrrr! Exterface and model David Mason have released their magical beast in 'Unicorn' - with styling by someone named Stick It Up. I’ve always had a thing for unicorns (some might say it’s probably the whole phallus on the head thing, but I digress that it was Swiftwind that got me all tickled pink). But I'm all over mythical creatures anyway (recently going along to an exhibition at Sydney's Maritime Museum to satisfy a fix. There were pegasus' there... and you can just imagine how wet my seat was at the cinemas when I recently saw Clash of the Titans.

Anyway, I invite you to click through the gallery, and perhaps have a look at the other colourful imagery... since that's what this post is about!

http://www.ethansays.com/exterface/

BUNS: NEW SS COVER ART..

2010-04-15T09:44:00.001+10:00

Scissor Sisters have touched down on planet Pink Floyd/Frankie Goes To Hollywood!

The other day they announced details of their new album 'Night Work'. Their third album won't be released until June 28 with lead single 'Fire With Fire' a week before. However, 'Invisible Light' is available in its entirety on the band's website. I hear that's Ian Mckellen's voice going all Rocky Horror Picture Show-like. I got sad when it ended, so I downloaded it!

RICKY MARTIN: IT'S ABOUT TIME..

2010-03-30T10:11:00.004+11:00

Ricky Martin has been in the closet to the public for years. So it's not news that he just shook his bon bon and came out on his blog...

"What will happen from now on? It doesn't matter. I can only focus on what's happening to me in this moment. The word "happiness" takes on a new meaning for me as of today. It has been a very intense process. Every word that I write in this letter is born out of love, acceptance, detachment and real contentment. Writing this is a solid step towards my inner peace and vital part of my evolution.

I am proud to say that I am a fortunate homosexual man. I am very blessed to be who I am."

It just goes to show, you can't be seen on a beach with an equally hot power top and deny those rumours. You know I would tap that.. them.. together.. Bless you Ricky, it's about fucking time! Now I can lust after you like I have all these years and know I'm probably in with a chance... hehe

BUTT FACE TOWEL..

2010-03-16T10:48:00.000+11:00

Ends the confusion of which side to use! Each side is clearly marked! Would think twice about purchasing it though... some customers are disgruntled...

ATTITUDE #190.. AGE 30, AND AGEIST..

2010-03-11T10:17:00.000+11:00

Ever heard that old lie that you're over the hill as a gay man when you reach 30? I've heard it, and sometimes I feel it... and with my 30th looming, I'm glad Attitude is addressing the issue.

And I'm glad there's a dapper young man (Eastenders' token gay - Johnny Partridge) on the cover there to dispel the myths with their first 'Older issue'. That shot is way hot, and now I want to do some spanking on a male stable-table.

There are also articles about Adam Lambert, Ewan McGregor, and of course... Ronan Keating reveals his ripped new body for their fitness magazine - Attitude Active. You will be amazed!

Remember you can shop at www.attitudedirect.co.uk

COREY HAIM, IS THAT YOU?

2010-03-11T09:17:00.000+11:00

Is it inappropriate to include a suggestive picture of someone who has only recently passed away?

Anyway, 80's heart-throb Corey Haim passed away yesterday. Details are scarce, but the news of the 38 year old's passing has already left the movie fan community reeling with shock. Corey Haim was a hero in numerous films, most notably The Lost Boys, and the one I most remember, License to Drive which he did alongside fellow 80's star Corey Feldman.

An accidental overdose, they're saying...

ERIC SAADE, SWEDEN'S HOPE FOR EUROVISION 2010..

2010-03-08T20:19:00.000+11:00

Eric Saade, a Swedish children's television host is Sweden's hope for the Eurovision 2010 title. Handsome as he is, his entry to the acclaimed (in my circle) pageant is a song entitled: Manboy.

Yeah............... I can only raise my eyebrows as to what exactly that means. Is it the 2010 way of describing fellow manboys like Zac Efron, Chace Crawford and whoever else I can't think of at the moment? He is the reverse of cougarism for men.

Anyway decide for yourself whether he has what it takes to take out the prize with the following videos, the first a videoclip of his first single Sleepless, and the final... MANBOY! (woo hoo) as seen on the finals to decide the Swedish entry. Stay tuned for the 29th May!!

HISTORY OF THE WORLD..

2010-02-28T12:07:00.000+11:00

As always, the Dykes On Bikes revved their machines and roared up the O.S, declaring the party started! The Sydney Gay & Lesbian Mardi Gras, open for business for the 33rd year, featured famous homos throughout history, eg. Leonardo Da Vinci, Dusty Springfield, and Amanda Lepore - the world's most famous transsexual. Dressed in a diamante G-string, she was chief of parade and still resembled a dehydrated axolotl. Bless!

135 floats carrying more than 9500 people, danced, partied and pronounced their sexuality... some coming to celebrate tolerance and have a good time; others wanting a reason to physically express that recurring dream of walking down the street naked.

It's a shame that for 364 days of the year we live in the dark ages. At a party the other week, I was told of a story that the day after the parade, a couple I know were up at Palm Beach affectionately hugging each other when a woman bellowed out to them: "You had your night last night, it's time to go back in the closet."

The nerve of some people... fortunately to which they defiantly replied with something along the lines of this: "Now listen here, you mullet. Why don't you just light your tampon and blow your box apart, because it's the only bang you're ever gonna get, sweetheart!"

MARDI GRAS CREDIT CARDS..

2010-02-26T13:32:00.001+11:00

I know it's fantastic to have the support of businesses within the community, especially the banks like ANZ. And I know gays like to put their pink dollar where it counts, but this just seems like a ploy for publicity. Still the reasoning behind the cards are to help fund the parade and other incentives.

Still if I was pinned to the ground and told to choose a pretty coloured card that best describes 'me', I'd choose Image 4 thanks.

BRENT CORRIGAN SIMULATES PORN..

2010-02-26T11:33:00.002+11:00

So last night was Hanky Panky at the Mardi Bar, Same Same's initiative during the two week festival. It is the best thing since electricity was first brought to Oxford Street, and the addition of Brent Corrigan to this years festivities was like watching porn in 3D. Anyway, should've been there... loads of hotties (inc. bottom right pic).

MARDI GRAS PARADE..

2010-02-26T09:14:00.000+11:00

Mardi Gras from Keith Loutit on Vimeo.

When the roads close... feathers and sequins will emerge. Gather your fellow gays and glitter because it's Mardi Gras Weekend in Sydney!

Last year over 300,000 people lined the route of the parade, which marches up Oxford and Flinders streets in Sydney's inner-city of Darlinghurst. This year it will be even better with the theme being: History Of The World. I'm sure we'll see a few Captain Cooks and Arthur Phillips making out if we look at Australian history... or anyone making out really...

My opinion is one of conflict. I love what the parade means, and how it champions the cause of the queer, but the night itself tends to bring out the worst in revelers. Hate crimes are up, because often people attend to watch a 'freak show', and generally afterward when all the gays are safely tucked inside a party... the street itself becomes a hotbed of human waste, trash and skank. My thoughts go out to those who have to clean up so the road can reopen in the morning. Anyway...

Above is a time-shift video by Keith Loutit from last years parade. He captures high quality digital still images and makes what looks like miniature characters interacting within a space. How awesome!

BRENT CORRIGAN IN SYDNEY!

2010-02-25T11:09:00.002+11:00

Porn star Brent Corrigan is currently in Sydney to entice gay boys the city over to leave their computer screens and see if they can tap a piece of that. Of course, it's all very over-rated, but he is as hot as the dicks he sucks in movies, so I may just be interested...

Last night at the Same Same Mardi Bar he played Twister with Courtney Act. And tonight he is appearing again in aid of the Hanky Panky party. So when you arrive you’ll be able to select the hanky that best suits what you’re looking for. Not sure what I'm going to ask for, I'm a kept man... so anything frivolous and I have to say thanks, but no thanks... anyway the climax of the night will be a real life re-creation of an adult scene on stage featuring him and some new friends (whatever that may mean).

I wouldn't have thought you'd be able to contain what he has to offer in mere underpants... who knew!

HUNGRY BEAST ON CONVERSION THERAPY..

2010-02-24T21:48:00.002+11:00

Hungry Beast reporter Monique Schafter speaks to three same-sex attracted men whose Christian beliefs led them to attempt to reorient their sexual compasses through various ‘gay conversion’ techniques. Sounds familiar on my part...

The video includes 59-year-old Anthony Venn-Brown whose book I have read, and been affected by. He tried a variety of methods over 22 years to change his homosexuality – including psychiatric treatment, exorcisms, ‘ex-gay’ programs, 40-day fasts and daily struggles with his ‘problem', etc.

This story explores three men’s attempts to become straight and the effect this has had on their lives.

Source: Hungry Beast

NAKED KOMBAT: DJ & KURT WILD..

2010-02-24T09:44:00.001+11:00

When I was in Venice some years ago, I stayed with a wrestler who thought it would be a 'great souvenir' for me, if we wrestled. Considering the erotic consequences I'd attached to it, I wondered where I would lead... so we wrestled, usually with me on the bottom trying to muster up that little bit of strength to immobilize my captor's arm or something.

Alas not to be... "You're not even trying..." he said. Believe me, I was. Had he'd noticed my slight hard-on, the situation may have taken an alternate path... but I've since thought about that experience more than once, usually replacing that guy with someone hotter...

Like the guys from Naked Kombat! Hurray my desire to be pinned to the ground and/or fighting to be on top, has an outlet. We'll start here with guys named DJ and Kurt Wild. DJ is rather aggressive and shows no mercy, while Kurt Wild is a soft spoken southern boy with a mean streak. Let's see what happens, shall we?

PICTURES / VIDEO..

ABOUT FACE, BY JOHN RUSSO..

2010-02-19T21:41:00.002+11:00

To create About Face, over 100 celebrities and male models, posed for photographer John Russo. The resulting limited-edition book of portraits, shot using the soon-to-be-extinct Type 55 Polaroid film (love those frames), represents a labour of love for Russo, who not only spent over four years capturing his subjects (perhaps before they became famous), but proceeds benefit the charity Smile Train. The benefit is that young children around the world get cleft lip and palate surgery for free!

And we get to look at hot guys (sadly, most without chest hair...) Hottest guy: Brennan Elliott (bottom left).

To purchase the book, visit Amazon, or PixiePress.

JUSTIN GASTON & THE BAND/SHOW HE'S IN..

2010-02-19T17:49:00.001+11:00

Miley's x-bitch Justin Gaston is obviously of the overly attractive kind, which is why I follow his movements every now and then. And it might be the purity ring that causes my jaw to drop to the floor, but he has been working the publicity trail with a bunch of equally good-looking people who are part of an upcoming reality show, called If I Can Dream...

What a gay name for a show! The tag is: And You Could Be One Of Them... but I reckon ugly people need not apply... because if the photo trail is anything to go by, it's a pre-requisite that you're an Abercrombie model first and foremost.

I've selected a few shots here that have caused tingling sensations in my pants. Sometimes he dresses like a douche (like in Rio, and at the beach... who wears skinny jeans in the water??), but damn that chest hair... mmm, that's my dream, to help wriggle him out of them afterwards...

NICK AYLER, BY DAVID ARNOT..

2010-02-19T16:55:00.000+11:00

This guy on DNA is way hot, and makes me wet my pants... let me run my fingers through his chest hair!

RAPUNZEL NOW 'TANGLED'...

2010-02-13T18:35:00.003+11:00

Urgh, the Disney studio has renamed it's next feature, Rapunzel to Tangled. Why mess with the title of what could be the second renaissance of Disney animation? Ron Conli, producer had to say this on their Facebook page:

"Hey everyone, I'm Roy Conli, producer of Disney's next animated film. I have some exciting news to share, and it was important to me that YOU guys – the Disney fans – hear it first. I want to tell you about Walt Disney Animation Studio's 2010 release, Tangled. It’s a really fresh, smart take on the Rapunzel story.

In our film, the infamous bandit Flynn Rider meets his match in the girl with the 70 feet of magical golden hair. We're having a lot of fun pairing Flynn, who's seen it all, with Rapunzel, who's been locked away in a tower for 18 years.

I’m so proud of the crew working on this film – they’re doing a fantastic job creating an awesome story with great characters and a stunning world – and it's all going to look amazing in 3D. All of us here at the studio are incredibly excited for you to see Tangled when it comes out in theaters this November."

Fans of the page are naturally outraged, including myself, who have obviously watched the developing news of this project from its official announcement, already some years ago.

"Did they call Snow White “The Poison Apple”? Or Cinderella “The Giant Pumpkin”? Or Sleeping Beauty “The Prince and the Evil Dragon?” No." said one guy, whom I believe summed in up. With several story changes, director changes, and cast changes (originally they had Cheno in the title role, but now it's Mandy Moore), and now another title change... I am still looking forward to its release, but please... like all Disney depictions after famous fairytales, don't mess with the name...

THE PUMA HARDCHORUS..

2010-02-10T18:17:00.002+11:00

OMG, these guys are so very straight... which isn't a problem, because they're singing a gay man's song. Darren Hayes shot this through to my email this morning...

"Puma have made a clever advert in their 'love equals football' campaign that uses 'Truly Madly Deeply'.

It's the first time Savage Garden has ever granted permission for our songs to be used in such a way. Ironically it almost didn't happen. When the publishing company contacted me initially about using the song I think my exact words were 'Hell to the no!'.

The director was apparently gutted we'd said no and he reached out to me to explain his vision for the idea. He understood that the description of a bunch of drunken football hooligans singing our song to their wives and girlfriends probably didn't read as the most flattering use. Bear in mind, we've always been aware that the worth of a song is in the memories your audience attach to it, and not in the quick buck you might make by selling it off to flog things.

But when the director showed me some test footage he'd shot of real footballers singing the song, I instantly got it. I was touched."

COMMITMENT CEREMONY..

2010-01-31T21:13:00.001+11:00

Being the gay son should automatically exempt you from the pressures and conflicts associated with the traditional rite of passage of becoming a husband, and eventual parent. I thought I'd be free, smugly removing myself from the room whenever a conversation erupted about what flowers to have, how will the bridesmaids get from point A to B to C to Z on the day, etc and amen. Oh, the horrible fate of my brothers!

A gay man like me, living in Australia does not have the luxury of being married by Homer Simpson or the like. It's just not done, and to my parents... ignorance is bliss: "That would just be a pretend marriage..."

The same-sex marriage argument goes on and on, and it will until we get recognition. It's not a religious issue, nor is it a person's particular taste... or even love. Marriage does not change the devotion many couples, gay and straight, make to each other. Committing to living together for the rest of one's life is not changed by a certificate of marriage. Legalising gay marriage has to do with protection.

Tell me I can't be by Josh's side in an emergency room or intensive care, and my blood will boil. Tell me Josh won't receive my superannuation benefits should I not live past our retirement age and I'm livid. Taxes, health insurance, property, and savings... I want the person I fell in love with to have all of me, and that includes whatever I am entitled to.

We should all agree to disagree, and if we think change isn't possible... then consider a discussion the other night I had with my mother about the possibility of adopting or fostering in the future: "You would need to have a commitment ceremony first."

Go figure... here was the woman who loathed the fact that I would be putting my penis into the out hole, and in turn, allowing someone else's penis to enter my out hole... and now she's picking out male/male cake-tops for the nuptials I would have with my co-parent.

We're on our way people... yes, we've just about turned a corner...

Here are some same-sex stories relating to their commitment ceremonies...

UP OUT MY FACE, BOY..

2010-01-29T08:46:00.000+11:00

If I could pull off being black like Mariah Carey, I'd get myself a competition barbie to have a plastic off with too. I love this clip! You can just imagine how much fun it would have been on set putting the videoclip together for the... er.. is it 5th single from the Memoirs album now? It's called Up Out My Face, and it features the chick on the right of Mimi, whose name is Nicki Minaj.

DONNY IN MY POCKET..

2010-01-29T08:24:00.002+11:00

Further to my post yesterday on the Love Like This post... some behind the scenes images have emerged on the Sydney Star Observer website... and I KNOW THAT GUY ON THE LEFT!!!

His name is Donny and I was in the same illustration class with him at university. I had a massive crush on him during my schooling years, but often he kept mostly to himself... and I of course was way too shy and in the closet to profess my undying love for his sweet face and gentle demeanor. It wasn't long after when I was raving to some pop madness in Stonewall, that there he was... all 165cm or so of him drinking a beer with some buddies in the centre of the dance area.

Gathering all the courage I could muster at that stage, I reintroduced myself to a resounding deflation of sorts... see Stonewall is not known as a place you can really catch up in.. loud music, drunk muscle-marys navigating their way around you, wiping their grease on your freshly pressed shirt, etc. So the would-be declaration of undying crushing was met with a confused 'i-can't-really-hear-you-right-now!' look, followed by an 'i'm-going-to-go-right-back-to-my-beer' glance in the direction of his friends.

Alas, I casually waved and wished him well.. but he's one of those guys I haven't been able to stalk on Facebook (not knowing his surname), and here he was... somewhere within the vicinity of Josh and I at the Natalie Bassighenrhwhwaattee videoclip, taking photographs. Oh well, it's not like I would've thrown myself upon him there... and I don't even know if he's a homo.. just would've been good to have a real catch-up conversation, or something...

'LOVE LIKE THIS'...

2010-01-28T15:37:00.001+11:00

From Natalie Bassingthwaighte's 1000 Stars, comes the 5th single: Love Like This. A month or so ago, Josh and I happened upon the videoshoot, and sweated our way on to the set and into the camera as best we could. Alas, the only screen time I get is an arm in front of my face during a crowd shot, and a near on full-frame body shot, but with my head absent. Josh on the other hand gets to smile with his eyes and party like there is no tomorrow behind some guy in a yellow shirt pouting like there's no tomorrow!

Reason behind the concept... Nat recently teamed up with the LGBT Health Alliance to celebrate the 85 new same-sex law reforms in Australia. Called Wear It With Pride, the campaign turns the 85 new reforms into 85 cool t-shirts... which you can purchase from the website as you learn about how K-Rudd has made a difference to discrimination laws in our country.

CAIN @ CORBIN FISHER..

2010-01-28T14:52:00.002+11:00

We share a name, spelled exactly the same way. His hair is brown, his eyes are brown... but I'm afraid that's where the similarities end. Cain, as he is known on the site, apparently has a great personality, a noticeable handsome face, and a most definite hot body - all factors that make him a great addition to the Corbin Fisher student body!

I have a slight fantasy that would involve taking him home, ripping off his clothes to expose that well-defined torso, and vocally screaming his name as I cum on his chest. Might sound a little weird at first, but meh...

PLACES THAT DON'T EXIST, BUT SHOULD..

2010-01-20T16:51:00.000+11:00

Lonely Planet have posed the question of mythical places that should exist, but don't. And we've all done it... read a book, or seen a movie and wished the places it transported us to were real. I read recently that watchers of Avatar's Pandora have been so melancholy such a planet doesn't actually exist, they are severely depressed and contemplating suicide (source). And while I think that's a little melodramatic... some of the most enduring destinations are indeed fictional (or at the very least inspired by real places the author had been to).

The top contenders include Lewis' Narnia, Baum's Oz and none more so thought out than Tolkien's Middle-Earth... what with its sprawling landscapes, hill-top ruins and passionate population. But my thoughts turn to two other war-torn planets championed to freedom by a brother and sister team... both the most powerful man and woman in the universe, respectfully.

Put me on a spaceship with Queen Marlena, and send me to Eternia so I can perve on He-Man.. with his silky blonde hair and ripped abs... ouch somebody get me some massage oil so I can rub it all over him.

But that's only as a pit-stop, because I want to settle with the Great Rebellion smack bang in the deep enchanted forest known as the Whispering Woods, on She-Ra's planet Etheria. My fellow gays Bow and Kowl live there... and there's a whole assortment of gay characters, and fag-hags begging to come out of the closet. And someone hook me up with a rainbow winged unicorn...

In my search for imagery to display with this post, I subsequently came across what I'd imagine would be cinematic depictions of the He-Man plight. Perhaps Nebezial is working on some concept art for a possible 3D film trilogy I could possibly develop suicidal tendencies towards. Because you just know the possibilities of packing up my MOTU DVD's and moving there is simply intangible.

BONDI BEACH FLASH MOB..

2010-01-19T18:59:00.000+11:00

This video is nothing new, having taken place mid-November last year, but it still brings a smile to my face, especially now that Kylie even tweeted about the event saying: “Dear Bondi-Flash-Mob. Next time can you start or finish with Slow?

For those of you who don’t know what a dance flash mob is, picture a crowd of people who are seemingly going about their business, in a crowded public place, then suddenly engage in a tightly synchronized group dance routine. The trick to the perfect flash mob is to make this well choreographed set up look completely natural so passers by don’t suspect a thing until everyone is suddenly busting the same moves to a grooving beat.

DJ and promoter Dan Murphy enlisted the help of Joyce Maynge and 100 would-be flash mobbers on Bondi Beach for a home grown flash mob to a camp dance mix medley.

BOYZONE - GAVE IT ALL AWAY..

2010-01-19T18:12:00.002+11:00

Boyzone pay tribute to their deceased brother Stephen Gately with their new single Gave It All Away, featuring Gately's last vocals, and written by Mika. The video is a poignant reminder of love and loss.. and it makes me wonder if the footage was shot when the band members found out about Gately's passing.

In other news Ronan Keating is performing in Sydney this week, and my parents are going to spend a day on the green with him and a few other performers inc. Tina Arena and Damien Leith. Good on them, I hope they have lots of wine, and hope Keating performs this song.

DUNCAN JAMES ON BEING BI & DEPRESSED..

2010-01-19T15:58:00.002+11:00

Remember last July when Duncan James of UK boyband Blue came out and told the world he fancied men as much as he fancied women?

Well now the Pink Paper are reporting how he struggled to come off depressants after the band split back in 2004, brought on by the death of his grandparents.

It's interesting when celebrities give a voice to honest struggles like depression and even the enigma that is bisexuality. They really do help out other people without a voice, and struggling to connect and not feel alone.

I know I dabbled in calling myself 'bi now, gay later' for a while.. and headed into depression territory when I couldn't find the answers or acceptance. And thankfully, settling on men made life a lot easier.

He said: "I’d had in my head that everyone was going to leave me, no one was going to talk to me. When the story came out, the reaction I got was so positive. People I didn’t expect to contact me said lovely things and people were writing beautiful letters saying that I’d really helped them."

Keep talking Duncan, you have an audience..

PIANO GAGA..

2010-01-18T20:39:00.002+11:00

Just found this guy on YouTube when I was searching for the still absent Telephone music video. He does all my Gaga favourites!

BEN'S 30TH INVITATION..

2010-01-12T18:35:00.000+11:00

Have been invited to my first 30th birthday to be celebrated at the swish Aqua Dining Restaurant overlooking the North Sydney Olympic Pool and the Harbour Bridge.

Now it is always good to invite gAy-listers to ones swanky shindig... so Josh and I will both be dressing up and wearing gold cufflings (to be removed as soon as we realise we've over-dressed). Sometimes I get afraid heading into such places, thinking I don't belong in such a fine institution and any wandering waiters will instantly see through to my inner westy-bogan.

Looks like I'll pass on our acceptance immediately though through the relative channels, because I made the very selective cut (I'm told by Ben's life partner Adam), and with my own 30th looming down my throat in a couple of months time, I feel I better surround Ben with cause for celebration!

RANDY BLUE (DONNY DRAKE)..

2010-01-12T11:02:00.001+11:00

You just know this guy's porn name means he's going to be a bad ass. Covered in body hair (yet with no tattoos in sight) I'm already salivating down in my pants.

Randy Blue's story is: "When I met Donny Drake for the first time I knew you guys were going to eat him up. You'd never guess hearing him talk that he's a total adrenaline junkie. Anything that gets him moving fast and working that hot body of his really gets him going. You can usually catch him speeding down the highways of his Arizona town with a huge hunk of power between his legs. He's got an amazing body and the most awesome furry butt. And! being in a time where so many guys shave or trim it's so refreshing to have a guy who's as natural as he can be."

Yeah I stopped reading after a while too, and just lapped up the PICTURES and VIDEO too.

UNICORN TATTOO..

2010-01-12T10:56:00.001+11:00

Real men love masturbating unicorns, it seems. Yet if you were a real unicorn, you'd be sporting some Kanye West glasses.

THE GREAT SPERM RACE..

2010-01-11T21:07:00.001+11:00

God bless SBS for showing The Great Sperm Race last night. Billed as the most extreme race on earth - a contest with 250 million competitors, only one winner and relentless obstacles thrown in for good measure.. the documentary scales-up the microscopic world of sperm and egg into an ill-conceived Survivor-like game show. This documentary is already old-hat now, having shown on Channel 4 in the UK back in March of last year, but yes, the miracle of life has been retold for idiots without an imagination and I just have to blog about it.

Both Josh and I were wondering whether writer/director Julian Jones had been sniffing crack at the time of production.. since in a people-sized sperm world: a testicle would look like London's Gherkin building complete with glass windows; the epic proportions of the vagina looks a lot like New Zealand's south island; and sperm heaven (the fallopian tubes) is a Cafe Del Mar-soundtracked siesta on a speedboat on the Cote d'Azur. Awesome! Josh who usually drives home in time for Monday morning work, stayed until it finished, if only out of morbid fascination.

Unemployed actors dressed in white overalls willingly reach the pinnacle of their careers playing a man's junk. In the name of science, they first wait in cocoon-like tunnels, knitting to pass the time until our hero man 'Greg' gets his groove on. But the real entertainment value was provided by a science bloke blown away by his own jizz under a microscope. Hell, I would be too I guess...

AUSSIEVAULT..

2010-01-08T09:02:00.001+11:00

Entries are now closed for the Australia Day 'Living Australian' photography competition being run by Aussievault.

The call out asked for us to show that we are proud and patriotic Aussies... showing the rest of Australia and the world how we live Australian. I ended up saving 93 images to my desktop and would like to share a few with you now... and I wonder if there can only be one winner, because scrolling through the gallery every image collectively appeals to my proud and patriotic inner-Australian.

DNA'S MAN OF 2009..

2010-01-05T16:18:00.001+11:00

VOTE NOW! For DNA Magazine's hottest guy in 2009...

How time flies. Are you ready for the clash of the year? These boys were voted for each month, rising to the top, the cream of your crop. And now they're going head to head for the final battle to crown the hottest of all: the Mate of the Year 2009!

The contenders for 2009 are:
Luke Guldan - David Williams - Carlos Freire - Jamie Monas - Drake - David Kimmerle - Jesse Roberts - Bira Baz - Jakub Stefano - Gary - Matt Schiermeier - Tim Robards

My vote is for Drake, partly because his wang is half out, but because he looks like a real man and not a model... but of course, I am impartial to the other two above as well.. because they're just pretty!

HAPPY 2010!

2010-01-05T16:07:00.003+11:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

This year Josh and I made out with each other at the stroke of midnight at a friend's rooftop party in Taylor Square, not far from the O.S. - and this was the view.

Hope you all had a safe and celebratory drink to welcome in the new year. But now it's time to compile those noughty's mp3 playlists, and get back to the work. Work for me involved chauffeuring a bunch of aging geriatrics round Sydney for five hours yesterday showing them the Opera House and Darling Harbour and what not. As we were heading west through Darlinghurst, one of my passengers told me he was a former evangelical preacher from Alabama. You can imagine this made for some interesting conversation driving along the O.S where I talked about upcoming parades where sexy boys dress in glitter and body paint to celebrate their sexual awakening...

DORIAN GRAY..

2009-12-31T11:47:00.000+11:00

Hurray for gay kisses, and the anticipation of what comes after the zipper opens!! Of course, in context of the Dorian Gray story, Ben Barnes is trying to dissuade Ben Chaplin's character from requesting the portrait of him, by playing on his affections..

I think this release came and went for us here in Australia. I don't remember hearing or seeing any coverage, and am slightly disappointed I didn't get to decide whether I'd go and see it. Oh well, nevermind. Here's a clip and a few stills to whet your appetite if you also haven't seen nor heard about it...

HAPPY CHRISTMAS..

2009-12-26T06:01:00.000+11:00

I'm dreaming of a white Christmas.. and if you run out of white, then I guess I'll have red! hehe or at least that's my Christmas wish.

I know I've got my own Fleshjack stuffed in some stocking right now, and can't wait to penetrate it on a few occasions.. so without further ado, I'd like to wish you all a wonderful season full of beer, turkey and other stuffing..

And my Christmas present to you, crap as it is.. are these few pics from Joe Phillips, comic artist to gay boys. Cheers! (Sorry... possibly already merry...)

"YOU'LL NEVER GET ME IN SPEEDOS.."

2009-12-24T10:13:00.002+11:00

Check out this month's DNA magazine for the inspirational story of Richard Mitchell, the winning candidate for the Make Me Hot Project. Their aim was to choose one DNA reader and help him achieve some fitness goals over a three-month period. At the end, a photoshoot would ensue – in swimwear naturally – so readers could judge if DNA had, in fact, made him hot.

“You'll never get me in speedos,” he muttered.

Here is someone, who over time has not only beaten the odds of being severely overweight (at 21, he weighted 123kg)... but through hard-work, determination to improve his self-confidence, despite his misgivings about his ability to see the project through or to achieve the results he was after, his shirt is off... and the outcome is impressive.. and when gay men the world over scruitinise his abs, shoulders and biceps he can be proud that DNA have made him hot!

And the Speedos? Hell yes! Without hesitation he slips into them and classic Tom of Finland poses ensue – strong, sexy, confident. See the last installment of Richard’s story on DNA #120 page 38, and his awesome photoshoot from DNA #120 page 40.

SEX & THE CITY 2 TRAILER..

2009-12-24T09:36:00.002+11:00

So unless you've been living under a rock this last week, you will have seen the Sex & The City 2 trailer. And I thought I saw a microsecond glimpse of a gay wedding in there. And yep, I was right.. and look the homos tying the knot have swans swimming around a moat. How gay..

It's like the writers have thought: "Hey, let's keep it light! Let's put in a social commentary.." Turns out it's Stanford and Charlotte's Wedding planner. Boring! It's like these girls only know two gay men.. and those men are bitchy bottoms.

Anyway, press play..

AN AUSSIEBUM CHRISTMAS..

2009-12-23T17:06:00.003+11:00

Scour the racks at Target, Big W or Kmart, and the same boring colours and patterns present themselves. Prepared to spend a bit more, then Myer and David Jones have better options... but any gay man knows, Sean Ashby founder of AussieBum, makes the kingshit of men's underwear in Australia.

He blogs from the inside, and I think he's the only one of his kind doing so. This really should come as no surprise.. since AussieBum have always been tech savvy. They're on my Facebook, YouTube, my Twitter, and they're producing short video DVDs to promote their product and gain exposure.

I've got friends, or acquaintances rather, that work within the AussieBum family and thus, have watched their rise from home-based company to multi-million dollar Aussie success story. They swear, and tell Janice Dickenson to fuck off... and that's why I like them! And I like their Hero briefs.

Included with Josh's new summer boardies was an array of paper he was quick to hand over as 'shit for you'. I sifted through some postcards with hot guys on them, a Season's Greeting card with Santa holding a surfboard and then there was the promotional DVD. Flashy, with quick editing and plenty of arse... I'm not sure where those 30 minutes went.. but I'm going to have to spend the next 5 minutes cooling off in the bathroom ;)

I think the trailer with the dumb idiot above is better.. because it sums up that models shouldn't talk when I'm trying to imagine them as my all-access fantasy pass. And now that the anticipation of watching the actual DVD has passed, I'm going to forward it on to the first person posts me a link to a picture of their bum, whether it's an Aussie one or not!

A TOAST TO JOSH & I.. 3 YEARS GOING STRONG..

2009-12-22T10:03:00.000+11:00

I've been with my boyfriend now for 3 years. We first met when I was creating YouTube videos. I'd just come back from a year and a half in Europe, and he was currently living with his French boyfriend in Paris searching for a slice of home, and came across my travel videos.. which ironically were about the countries he was close to and not Sydney where we both hail from.

I think he was silent for a while, just watching each new video with interest. In addition to short travelogues, I was creating content that related to a gay audience.. documenting thoughts and what not in order to build up my own confidence in my own sexuality. And eventually, I got a MySpace email from Josh casually telling me he liked watching my videos and thought I was cute.

In return, I checked out his profile.. deciding for myself that he was also very cute. Having a shared interest in travel and photography meant we became fast friends, chatting over MSN for a few weeks before deciding to meet on neutral ground at Town Hall in Sydney's CBD. When I arrived at our meeting point, I noticed he'd dressed in a nice shirt, jeans and wasn't wearing any sunglasses so he could make eye contact with me (which I thought was stupid because it was an extremely glarry day).

Together we wandered aimlessly down to Darling Harbour chatting about how we'd gotten into the city.. Josh from the Northern Beaches, me from the south-west suburbs, and found ourselves at one of those bargain DVD, CD and book sales in the convention centre. Aimlessly wandering those aisles, I took a moment to decide Josh contained the potential boyfriend material I desired: a sense of humour, considerate and even-tempered. That was solidified later on when we drove out to the beach, where he revealed a double beach towel for us to sit on.

Three years later, we're in love. It's not always perfect.. and I can really wonder why we're together. So I remember the story of how we met. How we had a common dream to live in New York, how we have so much in common that we often finished each others sentences before we'd had that much time to get to know each other. It's not that it's bad now.. relationships are hard work whether you argue or not.. I think it's just important to recognise where you've both come from, and that this is a very realistic affair, where we mutually benefit and balance each other.

So a toast: to Josh and I.. 3 years going strong..

RANDY BLUE (CHAD HOLLON)..

2009-12-18T09:48:00.001+11:00

When Eric Pryor was asked who he really wanted to get his ass plowed by, he blurted out Chris Rockway's name before Randy Blue could even finish.

This has taken me out of seclusion today because both the guys are way hot... and if you look close you'll see Chris grab Eric's hard cock and use it to direct his potent pelvic thrusts to perfectly work his raging tool. And it's so much fun watching the both of them cum because they each do it in their own unique way.

GALLERY HERE | VIDEO HERE

RANDY BLUE (JOEY JACOBS)..

2009-12-18T09:41:00.000+11:00

When asked to describe himself, Joey Jacobs from Randy Blue says, 'I'm tons of fun and always down to party'.

Of course he is, he's got tattoos... a lean, yet muscular set of six-pack abs highlighting his smooth torso... and he has the most adorable face. You could say he looks like the boy next door if you live next door to a strip club in Vegas.

GALLERY HERE | VIDEOS HERE

RANDY BLUE (WELL SUITED)..

2009-12-18T09:19:00.001+11:00

I know I'm on holidays but I had to post these couple of Randy Blue emails I've been sent... this one including one of my favourite fantasies - the office romance!

Or in this case, the office fuck.. because who can afford to be so specific when we know it's porn and we know it is meant to turn us on quickly, get us off, so we can resume our working day with minimal fuss...

The scenario for this one is actually a job interview fantasy. Cameras have been set up in the board room for the ultimate sexy interview. And in trying to figure out which of our guys would look great in joining Mike all suited up, Benjamin Bradley looks absolutely stunning in a suit. I swear, clothes just love that guy, as much as I love seeing them off of him.

GALLERY HERE | VIDEOS HERE

INDISPOSED..

2009-12-14T21:44:00.000+11:00

Hey, so my friend from New York arrived via aircraft yesterday to spend three weeks over Christmas and New Years entertaining me and the boyfriend. We stayed with him in his apartment last year for five and a half months, where he even gave up his bed. Because he has come to Australia, we are now calling him 'Davo' instead of his usual 'David'.

As a result of this, my posts during the festive season may be far and few between and I regret that I may not spend as much time spreading the word of the gay as I'd like. Not to worry though, I'm sure there'll be plenty of pink things to post in the new year...

Before Davo touched down in Sydneytown Sunday morning, the boyfriend and I participated in the Wear It With Pride videoclip Acon were running in my previous post. Shot in a prop house with plastered Egyptian gods and oversized pinyatas nearby, we were instructed to put on a rainbow coloured tshirt and dance - like gays dance - in a sweaty warehouse filled with heat. More on that when the video gets released in January...

MARIAH CAREY'S GAY CLOSET..

2009-12-11T19:06:00.005+11:00

So, I'm sitting here sipping a few glasses of Merlot (you've gotta drink a whole bottle before you feel anything), and I'm wondering what the beautiful people are doing... whether they might be returning home from a hard day walking the catwalks, singing into microphones, or from a dirty gutter... I'm not bothered.

But it got me thinking about their closets... because you know, I came out of mine several times, often wearing questionable goods, and what not... I'm not sure I'll ever have a closet (or wardrobe as we call it here in Australia) that contains expensive/fashionable items, but... *rambling*

Anyway, so I'd like to begin a series gay closets, and the first is Mariah Carey's.

I've no shame in declaring my fondness of Mimi, because I started liking her back when she was good... back in the Music Box days. Then came the divorce, the implants, the vague look on her face whenever somebody asked her a question... etc. Point is... I don't care what anyone has to say, I love that seven-octave voice and will piss on you if you beat me down for it!

Shit, I've probably had too many Merlots and it's not even dark yet. Anyway, here's Mimi's closet... bitch! Think I might go watch some porn..

TODAY ON 'DUDES NUDE' 11/12..

2009-12-11T11:57:00.002+11:00

ledsil_ - Quirky dude.. has a lot of the same interests in photography and graphic design as I do.. match? No wait, I'm already in a relationship.. Yes, that's right! And he shares my brothers name.

ggboy - I desire him to stuff me down his underwear... that is all.

Manuuu - Doesn't say anything.. so neither would I, 'cept he's hot with his personal camera.

FACEBOOK STALKING: KIERNAN..

2009-12-11T11:22:00.003+11:00

So I'm going to try and deduce whether this brooding masterpiece is of the gay, judging by these couple of photographs. Photo 1 screams homo, and there's a comment on the picture say: "Clubbo, you have reached new and dizzying heights of homosexuality."

Photo 2, also wearing a brightly coloured shirt sees our suspect smoldering it up in some club or bar, obviously sitting by himself (as he seems to be doing in most photos anyway.. silent-type perhaps?), whereas Photo 3 is an obvious display of affection. The comments ask: "Boyfriend?", and then "It is confirmed."

But all this totally is thrown out by Kiernan's obvious gridiron skills. And I see he's quite into it... so you tell me, is he or isn't he?

DISNEY HERO: PRINCE NAVEEN..

2009-12-10T22:09:00.008+11:00

David Kawena has been making my life worth living for a few years now, by releasing these artworks that show my favourite Disney men as they probably shouldn't be legally allowed to be seen. Sometimes I feel when I 'grew up' I was forced to leave Disneyland behind - because that was all that is wholesome... and I was heading into questionable gay territory.

But Kawena has changed all that. And now with the release of The Princess & the Frog, a new addition to the set has surfaced... straight from the New Orleans swamp we have Prince Naveen. Seen here during transformation from amphibian... completely drenched in lake water with metaphoric frog-crown necklace (nice touch!), there are also bulging... er pectorals... and that smile... SWOOON!!

It's good huh? Exactly what Disney dreams should be made of... though I doubt they'll ever run that wet t-shirt contest! Check out David's GALLERY below... you'll recognise most, if not all of them... and there's some not included here that you'll need to check out!

There's also a pretty informative interview here.

NEW MARDI GRAS 2010..

2009-12-10T14:33:00.005+11:00

The festival line up for the 2010 New Mardi Gras was launched last night in Sydney. Being one of the world’s premier gay and lesbian cultural festivals, and Australia's highlight, it will spanning two weeks from the 19th February – 6th March 2010. The festival aims to increase visibility of the gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, and queer communities and their culture.

Please find attached my much loved favourites – Fair Day and the Parade... plus welcome headliners like Whitney Houston at Acer Arena, and George Michael who will already be here.

GETTING CHIGGY WIGGY WITH KYLIE..

2009-12-10T12:34:00.003+11:00

Bit of Kylie fever this week (see what I did there?), and it's no secret ;) that she featured in a Bollywood film earlier this year, entitled Blue... an underwater extravaganza about finding a sunken treasure ship. It was partly shot in the Caribbean, and stars action hero Akshay Kumar, Bollywood 'bad boy' Sanjay Dutt and leading lady Katrina Kaif.. Billed as the most expensive film to come out of India, critics were harsh when the movie was released in October. Kylie's performance has been described as being about "as sexy as a fat housewife in a kaftan". Ouch! And I was just thinking it was the botox?

Kylie plays herself, acting one scene with Kumar and performs a set-piece song-and-dance routine. And while the film was supposed to appeal to Western audiences, critic Rajeev Masand was a little nicer to Kylie, attacking the film instead: "The music by A. R. Rahman is strictly average; even the item song by Kylie Minogue can't save this film from reaching its watery grave."

"My over-riding memory of India is the warmth and professionalism of the people I dealt with whilst making Blue. I arrived here as a stranger but I left considering myself as family." Kylie said. Blah, blah... yeah and you were paid $1 million to appear darl.. so the bad reviews are probably no skin off the back of her neck because she used to be called the Singing Budgie.

Regardless, it means I'm playing anything and everything Kylie this week, and now added to that playlist is the full length version of Chiggy Wiggy.. the collaboration between Kylie and A.R. Rahman for the film.

Below is the full scene in which Kylie appears:

TOMMY D & PARKER LONDON..

2009-12-10T09:59:00.001+11:00

Dude in the black is hot! He has a tat sleeve, and we know I like those on hotties... oh, and he takes it too... which is odd, because I totally thought he would top.

GALLERY HERE

IT'S CHRISTMAS AT RANDY BLUE (EDDIE & RICHARD)..

2009-12-10T09:46:00.000+11:00

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas, especially at Randy Blue where Eddie Diaz or Richard Pierce have woken up to exchange gifts.

When Eddie opens his special present from Richard and finds it's a glass candy cane dildo he gets a gleam in his eye and a smile on his face. Next thing you know, Richard is giving Eddie a gift only a few of us have gotten this morning. Stuff eggnog and turkey dinner... stuff something else instead!

GALLERY HERE | VIDEOS HERE

TODAY ON 'DUDES NUDE' 10/12..

2009-12-10T09:31:00.001+11:00

hawkatfifa - This pretty fella looks like he enjoys the company of his friends, plays a load of sports with his friends, and parties.. with his friends. Leaving him too tired for me..

ajejr88 - What a pretty face! And he's positioned how we'd see him if we were on top of him. Though his other pictures have those annoying coloured boxes over the good bits.. looks slightly like Stephen Gately from Boyzone, who recently died :(

marcelo82 - Marcelo looks like he could rip me a new one with that torso. Damn.. and you wouldn't get that impression reading his profile!

KYLIE LIVE IN NEW YORK..

2009-12-09T14:40:00.003+11:00

Australia’s pop princess and international gay icon Kylie Minogue will release a new live album digitally in a few days, called Kylie Live in New York.

The album, recorded on the last date of her North American tour this year at Hammerstein Ballroom in New York, will be exclusively available as a download December 14. Fans will be able to listen to the first half of the New York concert exclusively on YouTube for 24 hours from Midnight December 12 on Kylie's YouTube Channel.

C'mon, they make it sound so earnest. Now I've had a Kylie fascination since Locomotion was released... the original one back in 1987 when she was still doing Neighbours... long before she was recognised as a gay icon. And I've grown up with her all the way, through my own sexual awakening as well, but judging from the tracklisting... there's no mention of the new song: Better Than Today... which is what I would have been looking for.. so I've included the dance blog from the song down below to suffice before a new studio album comes out!

Overture (Somewhere Over The Rainbow / The Sound of Music)
Light Years
Speakerphone
Come Into My World
In Your Eyes
Everything Taboo Medley (Shocked / What Do I Have To Do / Spinning Around / What Kind Of Fool / Do You Dare / It's No Secret / Keep On Pumpin' it Up / I'm Over Dreaming Over You / Ride on Time / Such A Good Feeling / Finally / The Real Slim Shady / Buffalo Girls)
Like A Drug
Boombox / Can't Get Blue Monday Out Of My Head
Slow
2 Hearts
Red Blooded Woman / Where The Wild Roses Grow
Heartbeat Rock
Wow
White Diamond Theme
White Diamond
Confide In Me
I Believe In You
Burning Up / Vogue
The Locomotion
Kids
In My Arms
Better The Devil You Know
The One
I Should Be So Lucky
Love At First Sight

iTunes customers will also receive 3 bonus tracks: Light Years (Steve Anderson studio version) / Speakerphone (Steve Anderson studio version) / Come Into My World (Steve Anderson studio version).

MANATOMY: 'HAIR'..

2009-12-09T12:11:00.001+11:00

A man is more than the sum of his parts, but those parts are worth a long hard look sometimes. A long, sustained, scientific stare... Manatomy, from the makers of Blue magazine, takes you on an intimate tour of the male physique - bit, by beautiful bit!

We all have our thing. As gay men I'd say there's a part that we fixate on whenever we see some guy in the street, at a club, buying groceries, or even naked in bed. For starters, I love running hands through hair, long floppy hair whether wet or dry, or following the snail trail from belly button to dick. Gets in your mouth whilst rimming though... but we can't have everything.

A throwback to our caveman past, hair says much about our age, state of health, even how fashionable we are. To shave or not to shave: this is the most cruicial groom decision facing metrosexuals today.

And I for one am worried about the future of my hair... Once the owner of thick, luscious and regenerative follicles... I'm now 29 and am getting the beginnings of a bald patch. Not to worry, I can still enjoy the hair on others... inc. Robert Pattinson (who is not included in the book, fyi).

BOLLYWOOD & THE GAY: 'I AM OMAR'..

2009-12-09T10:56:00.001+11:00

From Same Same:

Upcoming Bollywood film I Am Omar will feature what is said to be the industry’s first gay love scene. The film is one of four short stories which make up the film I Am, which looks at the lives of male prostitutes and homophobic police officers.

One scene shows actors Rahul Bose and Arjun Mathur embracing in public. They’re seen by a nearby police officer who begins harassing them. The film explores how gay men in India are blackmailed, particularly under the anti-homosexuality law Section 377.

The film’s director Onir Anirban (pictured) told the Mumbai Mirror that he hopes the scene will make it past the censors in India.

“I Am Omar has received a beautiful response at the several film festivals because of the way the entire issue has been handled. The censor board has to realise that such scenes are crucial to the movie. I Am Abhimanyu and I Am Megha are also complete. Now I am left with I Am Afia which should be wrapped up soon."

Onir has not allowed any stills of the scene to be taken because he does not want them leaked onto the internet, which is a bummer for us...

CODY CUMMINGS' FROLIC IN A VINEYARD..

2009-12-09T09:44:00.002+11:00

This man, Cody Cummings, is sex on legs and I can't help but be drawn to his strong physique, his tats and handsome face. Most of the galleries and videos on his site, you'll find him jerking off solo and being hit up by both male and female suitors (sometimes at the same time).

Today, he's on a vineyard... sipping some Chardonnay, and then enjoying a frolic through the property enjoying the taste of whats-his-name down there...or whats-his-name is enjoying him!

The thing I notice about Cody, is he only ever receives, and never gives head... which I think is something he is most definitely missing out on, don't you think?

NON-NUDE GALLERY | NUDE GALLERY

TODAY ON 'DUDES NUDE' 09/12..

2009-12-09T08:51:00.004+11:00

Farmboyboi - A farm guy ay... certainly not built for the farm, that's probably why he's just completed a business degree.

tncwby - This guy is friend to the animals, and it doesn't hurt that his balls drop as far down as a horses either..

TanSk8r - Jimmy's a bit of a stoner, and it shows because he doesn't come across all that bright. But the exterior of his body certainly isn't showing any signs...

ONE IN 8 MILLION: PAUL BOCKWOLDT..

2009-12-08T20:31:00.006+11:00

One In 8 Million tells the stories of individual New Yorkers in sound and image. Strong black & white photography is used to illustrate audio told in a person's vocal... about their lives in NYC, how they deal with the everyday, and covering topics from mothers that live interstate, to professions, relationships and dreams. Run by the NY Times, you could waste several hours on this...

This story I've picked out is by Paul Bockwoldt, who grew up in Ridgewood, Queens with his gay brother, John. Like my older brother and I, they couldn't have been more opposite growing up, and now Paul plays on a gay football team (the Gotham Knights) to support him. A story wonderfully told and illustrated. I like how the driving force of the brothers playing together went beyond gender and athletic preferences and was simply: family. An inspiration to all to actively be a part in your siblings' lives, regardless of how. I love how they talk about Les Miserables...

MARGARET CHO'S BEAUTIFUL..

2009-12-08T20:06:00.006+11:00

So my copy of Margaret Cho's Beautiful DVD came in the mail the other day... fucking finally! I have been waiting for this ever since she came out to Australia nearly two years ago for the Mardi Gras.

Bitch had me and Josh cracking up as she discussed politics and shoving things up her arse. She also discussed what it'd be like if Britney came out (see clip above). My dad was probably wondering what we were thinking was so funny... of course, this content should be out of his earshot. Not for the fainthearted I'm afraid.

Having learned to love her luscious self over the past forty years, the perfect gay comedian has groomed how we feel about self-image, having sex with a woman (if you are a woman, and if you are a gay man). Armed with something more potent than lip gloss - a mouth so shocking and raunchy it should be stamped with a warning - Cho toured with this manifesto: "This show is really about how we should feel beautiful. When you feel beautiful, you're going to have more of a willingness to use your voice to speak."

RANDY BLUE (CHAD HOLLON)..

2009-12-08T19:38:00.003+11:00

I like a man with movie star looks, and Randy Blue always provides. Today, they have sent me: The Chad.

His body is amazing. Apparently he loves to work out, go figure! And check out his dick if you get a chance to click these NSFW gallery. It hangs slightly to the left, but don't they all? While pretty quiet bringing himself to climax, he brings it crashing home with his nice breathy moans as he shoots his load all over his chest. Cooool!

GALLERY HERE | VIDEOS HERE

TODAY ON 'DUDES NUDE' 08/12..

2009-12-08T11:10:00.004+11:00

wlfrqueen - This guy is honest, a naked guy on a website about naked guys.. and I'd tap that!

jonesm585 - Looks tall and geeky, but I think that's what attracts me..

Clash27 - And today's alternative personality is this guy.. he can speak French to me anyday..

NO MARRIAGE FOR NEW YORK..

2009-12-06T23:12:00.004+11:00

My friend threw this my way. There's no real set-up.. but in light of the decision made the other day, this should have tipped the scale in favour... it's NYS Senator Diane Savino speaking on the Marriage Equality bill.

New York already recognises same-sex marriages that have been performed in other states, so it doesn't make sense for them to reject the bill... and none of the other places that offer same-sex marriage have fallen into disrepair, but anyway... sigh!

OTHER FLESHJACK PURPOSES..

2009-12-06T22:53:00.003+11:00

So I'm sitting with my boyfriend and my girls today at Gloria Jeans, and we're going around the table taking about what is up with us.. and I casually mention that I've purchased a Fleshjack because the no-name masturbatory aid I bought a few months back has died a quick death from, er.. too much personal use. And what I needed, was to upgrade to a quality product that may survive the distance, and not go limp in the process.

I explained that I used the 'Design Your Own' feature which made a purchase all the more worthwhile.. choosing the ICE feature with a VORTEX interior in the shape of a JACK ASS. I can't wait until it arrives... ;)

One of my friends wondered what need I had then for Josh, who casually explained that the Fleshjack was actually multi-purpose and could be used as a torch or wine glass if desired. What followed was a barrage of possible occupations for the Fleshjack. And so I put it to you guys out there... what other uses can the Fleshjack serve, when it is not being used as a penile stimulant?

TODAY ON 'DUDES NUDE' 06/12..

2009-12-06T22:18:00.008+11:00

Fugitive11 - A nice masculine man to begin today's series. A few shots of him naked with an obvious tan line. I can deal with that..

renovatio9 - Let's be honest, this is one well-defined, hot Asian guy whose stomach I would love to run my fingers over...

aladinsane - A self-described indie guy, with good hair (?), seen in one of his pics hanging off Amanda Lepore's tit..

RANDY BLUE (MALACHI, NICK & SEAN)..

2009-12-05T11:36:00.004+11:00

You know that when two hot guys are playing Wii in the 'studios'of Randy Blue, they're going to end up fucking or something. What ends up being better is that there's another guy there... and these guys were playing for 'Tops'. Personally, I think both Nick and Sean, ended up letting Malachi win so they could do the bottoming thing.. I probably would've.. but then if you watch, they all get a go anyway.

And I think if the video game companies could get you to virtually play these three guys like in my previous post for the Dragon Age: Origins game, we'd all be having a lot more fun!

So get into it fellas: GALLERY HERE | VIDEOS HERE

ADAM LAMBERT & THE GAY KISS THAT CAUSED A STIR..

2009-12-04T21:46:00.033+11:00

From SXNews (Written by Garett Bithell):

When Adam Lambert took to the stage to perform a song off his new album at the recent American Music Awards, conservative viewers at home – and more than a few stuffy television executives – didn’t know what hit them. Thwarting what had been rehearsed, Lambert unleashed the dangerous rock god within, and quickly got to work dragging male dancers around the stage on S&M-inspired leashes, even digging one dancer’s head into his crotch to simulate a blow job. But the culmination of the performance took place when Lambert climbed suggestively up the set, like a sexed-up dominatrix, to one of his male guitarists, and planted a whopping open-mouth kiss on him that lasted for at least five seconds.

More than 1500 views complained, and national broadcaster ABC cancelled Lambert’s scheduled appearance on the network the following morning. Lambert has since admitted that perhaps his performance was a bad judgment call, but has made no apologies – even openly suggesting a climate of discrimination in an industry that presents highly-sexualised performances from female pop singers all the time.

Reminds me of another gay kiss in music television history when Madonna passed the baton of pop sovereignty to Britney and Christina by way of a bit of raunchy girl-on-girl threesome action, at the 2003 MTV Video Music Awards.

Performing a medley of ‘Like A Virgin’ and ‘Hollywood’, Britney and Christina played the virginal brides to Madonna’s lecherous groom. Madonna twirled the girls aggressively around the stage in suggestive ballroom-esque routines, before planting erotic open-mouth kisses on both of them in turn.

The world recoiled in mock shock, with many a bloke secretly wishing he’d pressed the record button. Interestingly, the backlash was nothing compared to what Lambert is currently enduring.

Ironic really, don't you gays think?

DUST. HIGH-FAT/LO-FAT..

2009-12-04T13:04:00.016+11:00

From: homo_neurotic.

"The Dust series is an in-between." explains the artist, Oliver Valsecchi. "Between death and birth, in a chronological sense. It is the ‘re’. It is the chaos, the confusion between the water and the gloom that is the cradle of the world. Between the fall and the takeoff, the renunciation and the imulse, the bodies are chalky, zombielike, between animated and disembodied. The in-between, meaning what is nearly, what is not quite."

Um, ok whatever. But they are so beautiful... both the male and female portraits. Like being inside the womb in some other-worldly twister devoid of gravity and saturated colour - almost like illustrations for some R.L Stine or Christopher Pike novel. It makes me want to twirl around and get all dizzy, although the only problem doing so in this environment is I'd probably get dust up my nose, in my mouth, eyes and other such orifices. Probably, therefore, not a good idea... so I'll just admire.

More HERE.

HE WEARS SHORT SHORTS..

2009-12-04T12:45:00.010+11:00

From: Lost In E Minor

"Not ones to create alarmism, but with summer in Australia almost here, we feel it’s our duty to warn the men in our lives. Board short lengths are on the rise, along with the fear of knee exposure amongst the male population."

So bloody what? Bring it on, I say...

Should real boardies cover the knee? Where you can surf in them, ride your bike down to the beach, or even walk into any pub nearby displaying length and pattern... I know from my perspective, I couldn't think of a better way to see in the warm weather. Although I fear I might have to hide a few erections at the beach if I'm seeing guys wearing their trim, torte and terrific short shorts, exposing their hard bodies for all to see.

Fortunately, we can look to the left and see this kid wearing THOSE short shorts, and realise it could be worse... at least we're only really using the short boardies for the summer period and not every day life...

Get yours at Aussiebum or view celebrity short short madness here.

TODAY ON 'DUDES NUDE' 04/12..

2009-12-04T11:43:00.012+11:00

kurtbukate Not convinced this kid is a 20yo. But nonetheless, my boyfriend would like how he dresses (which you wouldn't be able to gauge by looking at this picture), as much as I like the way he styles his hair (which fortunately, you can view from this picture)..

e.a Elad hails from Israel and has that delicate peace about him.

god4hire87 We just know that this guy is a douche... but a hot douche...

MATTHEW MITCHAM IMMORTALISED..

2009-12-03T12:06:00.016+11:00

Olympic gold medalist diver, Matthew Mitcham (my favourite Australian sportsperson), recently modeled for Ross Watson. In this forthcoming exhibition Watson explores the themes of mentoring and isolation, whilst celebrating Australia's greatest and most respected gay role models. The paintings reference classical masterpieces, and this one reminds me of the Sistine Chapel in the Vatican.

It is the first ever painting of Matthew Mitcham, whose sponsorship deals since winning gold at the 2008 Beijing Olympics has been slow, yet exposure within gay networks explosive. Watson invited Mitcham to choose his favorite classical reference from a variety by different artists before the modeling session. He chose the The 'Fall of Phaeton' by Sebastiano Ricci, which is regarded as one of the first examples of true baroque art in 17th Century Venice.

"Matthew is a great example of a number of high profile subjects who I've painted, and who are are strong role models for the gay community. It continues to sadden and concern me that same sex attracted youth are 4-6 times more likely to take their lives compared to their heterosexual peers," said Ross Watson.

The National Portrait Gallery's Curator, Dr Christopher Chapman, says that "the National Portrait Gallery is very pleased to acknowledge Matthew Mitcham’s contribution to sport and to the gay community by including his portrait in the collection. The painting is terrifically dynamic and I am sure it will be immensely popular with our visitors when it is on display here."

DRAGON AGE: ORIGINS VIDEO GAME..

2009-12-03T11:41:00.003+11:00

Maybe I'm a bit late in posting this, but as someone only vaguely interested in video games... this may just perk my interest.. Dragon Age: Origins, available on PS3 or XBOX 360, is a role-playing action adventure game, including over 80 hours of content... which I hardly even care about because I'm only interested in this part, where you children (and possibly my boyfriend) can make two enemies fuck in a tent.

This sort of role-play would work well if you are a big daddy mute, wanting your vicious blonde power bottom fetish played out. It's slightly weird, especially when the Legolas-look-a-like guy kinda sounds like Antonio Banderas... and says things like: "Is there something in your tent that needs assassinating? That is my specialty."

Weird, yet strangely interesting... and I can't turn away... (and I can't make head or tail of the barking dog in the video).

TODAY ON 'DUDES NUDE' 03/12..

2009-12-03T10:00:00.012+11:00

HarleyQ This guys a porn star... can't you tell? But he's got a photo where he looks like he's been dragged ashore in a net, and that makes me thing of mermen, so I'm done...

ENOYIT Having just decided to kneel on a beach, this Italian stallion decided to smell his armpits, and that is kinda hot..

8inch_kid 8 inches and wet!! Really going for the beachy weather today, must be that Australian summer just beginning!

RANDY BLUE (DOMINIC & MIKE)..

2009-12-03T09:36:00.005+11:00

So we all like a good 69er, and these two from Randy Blue do it well... so I'm happy to display the following for your viewing pleasure...

I never believe the nonsense that these guys have never been with another man before, because why on earth would they be doing it so willy nilly in the first place... but as a gay who just likes seeing a bit of man-on-man action, I can't decide which I like more, seeing Mike lapping at the head of this guy's dick with his soft, wet tongue or Dominic grabbing his head and face fucking him.

So get to it: GALLERY HERE | VIDEOS HERE

TODAY ON 'DUDES NUDE' 02/12..

2009-12-02T13:55:00.003+11:00

Blujay.. something about his style, or whether you can just imagine his 'O' face or what...

elnino29.. doesn't this guy remind you of that guy from Glee?

R.Morgan.. ooh boy next door, and his pictures are affluent!

WEAR IT WITH PRIDE..

2009-12-02T11:07:00.018+11:00

From: ACON

Organisers of a national campaign about same-sex law reform are looking for people from the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and intersex communities to be featured in a video clip with Natalie Bassingthwaighte to promote the campaign.

Called Wear It With Pride, the new campaign aims to educate people about recent changes to 85 pieces of federal legislation which previously discriminated against same-sex couples.

Who are we looking for?
We’re looking for people of all shapes and sizes from all walks of lives to celebrate the broad diversity of the LGBTI community.

Couples, families and singles
Bear, butch, fem, queer, transgender, leather, straight-acting, twink, radical, hippy, lawyer, teacher, doctor, mechanic
All sexes, all genders
All ages (under 18 with parent's written permission)
Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people
People from culturally & linguistically diverse backgrounds (Asian, Indian, Middle Eastern, Caucausian etc)

What, when, where?
When: The video recording will be on Saturday 12 December 2009 and will take a maximum of 2 hours.
Where: The shooting location is in Sydney's inner west. Best transport would be by car but there are two train stations each around 10mins walk away.
Sign up: Send an email attaching a recent picture of yourself to Corey Irlam along with your name, email, address and phone number. Get in fast as applications will be considered in the order they are received. All applications need to be received by 12-noon on Friday 4 December 2009.

The campaign is looking for a cross-section of the community to participate. As there are limited spaces we may not be able to accept all applications, but we'll try our best. We will come back to you with confirmation that your application has been accepted by Monday 7 December.

WORLD AIDS DAY..

2009-12-02T10:00:00.009+11:00

Once again World AIDS Day has come and gone... and once again it feels like the date has come around again without much fanfare or fuss, and with a certain ambivalence from the world about what HIV and AIDS means in 2009. I for one, forgot about it until now, which is no excuse really. It wasn't until Attitude magazine in the UK sent me through an email reminding me with these words:

"As medications for HIV get better, we find ourselves in a strange place. HIV infections in the UK amongst gay men are higher than ever before - yet fewer people than ever before, statistically, are aware that they know anyone who is HIV positive.

"It seems that as the years go by, young people seem to be less aware of this virus which has crashed into our lives over the last 25 years... We want to create a modern dialogue about HIV - what it means now, how it's affecting us, and are we doing enough, as a community, to stop the spread of this virus."

My thoughts on HIV/AIDS are as ignorant as some of the other people my age. I'm very nonchalant, and as I engage in certain intimacies with my long-term partner I am aware of the consequences... however I feel as we are monogamous and only engage in anal sex sporadically, what risk is there to us? It's this attitude I should probably address. I am not exempt, and while sex with the only the same partner dramatically reduces risk of infection... it's no excuse not be caught up on matters at hand.

Attitude's editor Matthew Todd has put out a call for people to share their thoughts on the HIV/AIDS epidemic, to ask the difficult questions that plagues us gay men more than any others.

BLACK WADE, A PIRATE'S LIFE FOR ME..

2009-12-01T02:20:00.011+11:00

I think I love gay comic books more than anything else in the closet.. especially if they're drawn in the same colour/drawing-style as Disney. And finally, a graphic novel worthy of the comparison, from the coloured pencils of Franze & Andaerle comes 'Black Wade - The Wild Side of Love.'

Black Wade is a cruel and dreaded pirate, known for looting ships and pounding ass. His mercilessness is legendary, but it wavers when he meets the younger, warm-hearted English officer Jack Wilkins. Can a pirate find true love? Or does he have to protect his reputation of being one of the true terrors of the seven seas?

I went through this over an hour the day the Amazon box arrived... came twice, and returned to sift through the pages over and over to savour the details within the artwork.

A ship filled with hard and strong men! What could be a better setting for a gay story of forbidden love?

TODAY ON 'DUDES NUDE' 01/12..

2009-12-01T00:19:00.003+11:00

edgar_bud.. kinda trying to look hard, but who is he foolin' really? he's like someone's cute younger brother who has a crush on you..

tripout.. perfect symmetry in the face, those eyes, and sounds like he gets a lot of comments from people like me.. which is why he is today's centrefold.

rem75.. excuse me... remember how I said I'd get distracted? Well, here's an example...

LADY GAGA WANTS ME TO FREAK IT..

2009-11-30T11:18:00.006+11:00

In a recent appearance on The Ellen DeGeneres Show, Lady Gaga spoke frankly about her extreme costumes and onstage antics. “I didn’t fit in in high school and I felt like a freak. So I like to create this atmosphere for my fans where they feel like they have a freak in me to hang out with and they don’t feel alone.” “Maybe in high school you, Ellen, you feel discriminated against. Like you don’t fit in and you want to be like everyone else, but not really, and in the inside you want to be like Boy George – well, I did anyway. So I want my fans to know that it’s okay. Sometimes in life you don’t always feel like a winner, but that doesn’t mean you’re not a winner, you want to be like yourself. I want my fans to know it’s okay.”

Bless daughter Gaga who has weaselled her way into my epicentre of pop love, right next to Queen Kylie. So much so that I thought it fitting in response to her open admissions of fashion and well, bloody good music, to purchase tickets to her upcoming Sydney show in March next year. I bought them under the veil of Christmas present for my boyfriend who brings each new Gaga single to my attention with much revered enthusiasm.

LUKE SMALLEY'S 'SUNDAY DRIVE'..

2009-11-22T01:04:00.020+11:00

Source: Fleshbot.

These dudes almost make me want to go to prison.. not that I want to be going to the slammer anytime soon, but if I had to.. take me to the jail where I can be tattooed, fold towels, and shower with these young studs.

This is the post-humous work of Luke Smalley, a photographer who passed earlier this year. The series is called 'Sunday Drive', and chronicles what three women's men do behind bars.

There is a certain bittersweet quality to the images for all the bare chests they expose, where beautiful men mourn their loss of freedom and perhaps the sorrow that by the time they're free they'll lose their youthfulness.

For the viewer though, we are lucky... And we can also view Smalley's previous work until the boys get released (Gymnasium & Exercise at Home), and if you live in NYC.. you're even luckier as the series is being exhibited at the ClampArt Gallery in Chelsea.

MORE IMAGES HERE

FIRST TIME FOR EVERYTHING..

2009-11-14T16:30:00.001+11:00

The first time I masturbated was in 1993. I remember it rather clearly as it was the middle of June, and I was just fussing about in the bathroom before a shower... meaning I was in the process of doing a shit. Puberty was playing a bit role in my life at that point... I was getting taller, my voice was breaking... and thankfully there wasn't much acne as I transitioned from boy to man.

I had been doing my research, being the inquisitive student I was... looking over the only material available to me, drawn diagrams in my mothers copy of the book, Everywoman. Of course, that wasn't really going to to me much good when it came to changes in the male body, so my learned knowledge only extended as far as making a baby and what not. As far as my parents were concerned, I was too young to know about such things.

Yet there I was, sitting on the toilet... having long flushed, letting my mind wander. I partly wanted the privacy to last a bit longer as my elder brother could be counted on to be lurking around, ready to make my life worse. So I started to play.

Erections were not uncommon, as my brothers and I would naturally get 'stiffies' in the bath or at various other stages.. but that afternoon was different. It felt good. To stroke, to cup... how my balls moulded to the palm of my hands, and how the fingers wrapped themselves around the shaft of my dick. This could be interesting, I thought. It feels good... so good, in fact, to be right. Am I doing something wrong? Or too grown up, even?

But then, when something is too tempting.. inevitably you end up following through and doing exactly what you'd put off. Inevitably also... I pulled off what I came to do...

I followed suit for the next two afternoons at least. I remember that much... but WOW! What a discovery... and I've been my best shag since!

MALE DEPRESSION..

2009-11-01T12:48:00.003+11:00

In the past I've created many YouTube videos, commenting on life and what-not, and here are a few that still get a lot of hits... especially during November when Movember is running...

THE TOOL SHED ON THE OS..

2009-10-26T21:47:00.007+11:00

Out on the OS again the other night, but not for pashes and alcoholic beverages. Merely, at a friend's insistence and her ever present enthusiasm for bringing me out of my shell. We parked right outfront of the doors to the Tool Shed, a lip-smacking, dick-whacking palace of a place. Downstairs my friend guided me, kicking and screaming.

My adversity towards porn shops (even after openly admitting to using non-confrontational Internet porn) stems from the thought, that somebody might see me, and those people would deem the sighting irresponsible and immoral. Ah, why am I so taken with what people think of me? I profess independence, but still go ahead and consider others’ opinions and usually address them accordingly – except I guess when it comes to this whole gay thing. But more on that later… not for this post.

It was much bigger than I had imagined, but it still contained many rows of gay and straight porn on clean shelves, and the latest range in bondage fashion. I was surprised to encounter silicone dildos where saying they were merely realistic would be an understatement. They were modelled from real-life! Fascinating! Though there would be no way I’d be making a purchase on a big dick… and stick it where? I can barely (if at all) stand an ‘in-the-flesh’ cock, let alone one that seems to have mutated and swelled just by staring at it!

I purchased a masturbating mouth-type thing and some cock rings, and was embarrassingly red-faced when it came to deciding and purchasing of the assets. For someone so comfortable with talking opening about sex, and how I feel about it, I find myself in awe of the irony in which I withdraw into the foetal position, when it comes to sex toys. I could barely look at the customer service assistant, and she was there with the knowledge of what is good and what is not.

So how do my new ‘toys’ measure up? Stay tuned… hehe

OTHER PEOPLE..

2009-10-22T23:12:00.013+11:00

At dinner a few years ago, there was a conversation on the Lazy Susan that ended up being about this lesbian couple somewhere in one of our daily lives. One appeared to be pregnant and was seen to be wearing a wedding band… and so the topic turned to marriage and civil partnerships for homosexual couples.

Speculation got to a point where I piped up and said, ‘Just because Australia doesn’t permit legal marriage for consenting homosexuals, doesn’t mean they couldn’t have gotten married in the UK or in Canada where it is permitted and recognised by the state.’

‘It’s just a pretend marriage,’ said my mother, who has obviously forgotten again that her 2nd son is gay himself, and would like to one day have a pretend marriage himself. I’ve learned to deal with my mum’s cutting comments throughout the various stages of my sexuality unearthing, but I still find it surprising when all knowledge seems to get equally swept under the rug.

To save the fireworks from erupting, I calmly excused myself from the room.

I don’t understand really, why she finds it so embarrassing to acknowledge and respect my feelings, when there are declarations of love and affirmation towards me as her son, but always in relation to ‘this perfect girl he’s going to marry’. And aside from my last post, chances are, I would most likely want to marry ‘the perfect guy’. AND I’d want my parents to welcome my choice of partner into the family.

And following on from that I get upset at the prospect of weddings because I know in Australia it is not legally viable for my happiness to be acknowledged by my country. Later, I returned to the living area and was asked whether I had finished sulking over something trivial that related to other people and not me. ‘Other people?’ I proposed, staring blankly into my mother’s eyes…

THE TROUBLE WITH PORN IS..

2009-10-13T13:17:00.006+11:00

The mischievous grin that sneaks across my face every time my online friends ask me if I am currently surfing porn, is testament to its luring power. The fact that they can’t see the ensuing grin they’ve encouraged, excites me all the more like I’m doing something deceitful (regardless of whether they fully endorse porn surfing themselves or not). There’s a sense of heightened adrenalin whenever I sneak off my chat windows to fondle my mouse… touching and caressing the buttons so I can ease the raging hormones within me.

Unbeknownst to several members of my online community (certainly not here anyway), they assume I am clicking on heterosexual porn where the bitches are getting banged up like last year’s model. Gay porn is a specialist area defined by what we assume goes on in gay communities: bears, daddies, twinks… the list, oh how it goes on. Sometimes I just wonder whether it's more akin to rape and molestation to ever be a turn on...

I think the graphic designer in me wants to see creative porn. It is not enough to just ‘get off’ when I surf porn sites, oh no… I want to appreciate the time and effort someone has put into creating original content. I think the same would go for real life sexual partners. I can’t see the value in giving over to just anyone… I want to be with someone who has made the effort to get to know me and make an impression.

I came across such a site (albeit, a non-free one… what a surprise) during my most recent porn surf. A Russian website based around the theme of wannabe Popboys succumbing to the sexual advances of a record producer. Clothes are discarded… phallic body parts inserted… and liquid substances emitted, all collectively presented in glossy, retouched colour. And the main guy, I think is really hot! And I didn’t feel dirty or used afterwards...

Though in saying that.. I'm concerned about the lack of safe-sex going on, as I am about most bareback porn. But, what's X-Tube's slogan.. 'Log on, Get Off'...

AT THE COLUMBIAN..

2009-10-11T12:56:00.006+11:00

A few years ago (yeah, I know), I went to the Columbian on the OS. ‘The OS’ is an abbreviation for Oxford Street in Sydney. If you’re in doubt, it’s where the gay community comes alive. A friend of mine mentioned it to me, randomly in an online conversation, and I liked its reference to the tv show The O.C.. My nickname for the same area is ‘Fagland’, but I don’t think it has the same effervescence.

Anyway, so one of my girls – Natalie – and I were with Nev and Grant (who are from uni days). The more alcohol we consumed the more the idea of kissing became appealing. The atmosphere inside the bar was inviting. There was a general red glow to the décor and that is the colour of passion… and of the grenadine in my pre-mixed vodka drink. Next thing I know, Natalie and I are sharing saliva.

'I just want to practise,' she says. ‘You, being more experienced can tell me if I’m doing it good.’ Your day of recognition comes when your faghag comes to you to learn how to kiss properly. She was actually quite good, if in a bit of a hurry. I personally like to take my time and savour the moment, the sensations, when exploring someone’s tonsils. There was a fleeting moment when I wondered what we’d be like in the morning after we’d sobered up, but that disappeared when some guy came along and 86-ed our chairs.

Later, when I was pashing Natalie, then Nev… and Grant… and some other random guy that looked like possum magic, I tried to step back and look at the situation objectively. Unfortunately, in the throws of such passion, one can’t think objectively, so the only option available is to ‘kiss and make up’, which I did and then had eyeliner applied to my eyes.

These things happen in the community... not to everyone and not all the time (and not since, for me)... but I just wanted to draw it to your attention because I was just thinking about how hot it was...

NOT FEELING IT..

2009-10-06T11:19:00.007+11:00

I don’t feel gay today. I mean, I know I sincerely prefer the intimate company of men, but at the same time, my attractions are balancing on the women side of the scales. Or are they? I am never quite sure which side of the pendulum I am swinging, because I’m not really sure I have one of the biggest sex drives out there.

An online friend and I were talking about the term ‘asexual’, which if you consult wiki, it defines the term as meaning to find sex unappealing, or feeling indifferent towards it. For the better part of my pubescent life (and now into my mid-20s), I felt rather ho-hum about sex. I would masturbate and secretly find people attractive, but I wasn’t too fussed on keeping with the Jones’ when the prize was always ‘win a sex date’. This term is usually described as being on the outer of gender categorising (in terms of heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, etc).

I know I shouldn’t have to label and stereotype myself into any classification, but for fear of my own self-loathing and indecisiveness, perhaps I should have decided by now to stick to something? This is a recurring theme in my thinking. I am constantly changing my mind, or having days of nonchalant energy in relation to anything, which I guess is normal. But when I think of asexuality, I can’t deny that some of the symptoms I can easily align myself with.

Tomorrow may well be different, and I will have regained my sex-drive for a time… but I will always come back to over analysing my place in sexual society. I just don’t fit the mould. I never did in high school when macho was the prerequisite for fitting in, since I did mostly creative subjects, and left the sporting activities to the well-endowed. And even at church I couldn’t fit the mold (or what I presumed was the mold) for a healthy sexual appetite. But even so, if I was to proclaim asexuality as my sexual preference, would that expose feelings of exile towards me as an individual?

WHEN DARREN CAME OUT..

2009-10-01T09:47:00.005+10:00

As a 16 yr old, I had a crush on a variety of cast members from Beverly Hills 90210, and American popstars like Mariah Carey… without ever admitting to myself (let alone anyone else), that there were a couple of male cast members and male popstars I wouldn’t mind pashing behind the toilets. It was one of these such popstars, an Australian by the name of Darren Hayes in that synth-ed pop group Savage Garden, that I developed an unhealthy secret crush on.

Darren seemed to exemplify everything emotive I felt I had within me. His voice had the lyrical sweetness that slid down my throat like strawberry icecream… and a stage presence that commanded the attention of every member of the audience. Oh, how I wanted to be like Darren Hayes, the unapologetic show pony of Australian pop.

Now, as a fully-grown, and supposed fully-mature 29 yr old, I am finally relieved to hear of his coming out and nuptials to his long-term boyfriend. The role model I had come to base all my preconceptions of ‘a sensitive, emotional straight man’ had revealed himself to be a ‘sensitive, emotional gay man’. No one I knew was surprised. And, I guess neither was I… After all, I had wished for so long, that he’d seek me out of the crowd, and sing privately to me, at pivotal points during his concerts.

Darren’s coming out had not only prompted me to rediscover my appreciation for his music (after having a hard time dealing with the crumbling of Savage Garden as I knew it… back then), but also to rediscover the sexuality I had so often denied. I had pretended to consider myself ‘a sensitive, emotional straight man’, but in retrospect I was also just ‘a sensitive, emotional gay man’. I don’t want to be exactly like Darren Hayes, but I can’t deny the inexplicable similarities that I find exist between a popstar I have no claim over and little ‘ol me.

I found I wanted to declare this newfound information to my parents who always prefer to stow such sexuality information under the rug. And unsurprisingly, they couldn’t care less, and didn’t ask any further questions. Sigh! And so begins the two-hours traffic of our stage…

IT MEANS ‘DELIRIOUSLY HAPPY’..

2009-09-29T18:25:00.004+10:00

The first time I masturbated, I doubt I was aware of what I was doing. I remember it being in the Australian winter of age 12 or something. I was sitting on the dunny contemplating the excretion of certain wastes, when I wiped my bum and undressed for the shower. In the vague recollections that happened from there, I don’t think I ejaculated that first time, but I certainly had an orgasm. Oh, the wonderment of that moment… I had only just been fiddling with my penis… and after fiddling somewhat… then it happened.

All of a sudden my heart fluttered at the thought that someone might cotton on to what I was doing. I became slightly paranoid the next day when I wanted to do it again… and again the next day. This time semen came out. And then all the usual tormenting thoughts of what was wrong with me? How did I cause this? Is this really? Yes… yes it is! And the realisation that what I’d actually thought about to get there… was it normal to think of some boy in my year at school?

There was a movie poster where a man in his black underwear was lying on the asphalt and a woman (with her hair dangling haphazardly over her face), crawling ontop of him. I think it was for the movie ‘'Naked'. The cover has changed now, but anyway... that image was so vivid in my mind at that point, and I can remember substituting the girl for me, and the boy at school as the boy from school. Our location would be rough, and dirty as well… and I would enjoy the removal of clothing, how that frame would come to be.

Of course, being underage, I couldn’t just watch the film with its R rating. So my ideas were purely inside my imagination. And there was absolutely no way I would ever, in any real life circumstances want to invite that certain boy (athletic superior, most popular boy in the year type status) to live out the role play. Goodness, I was paranoid as it was that I was thinking of boys instead of girls, in the first place...

And with a fast forward, we're here.. where I intend to recount my experiences and thoughts from, 'coming out', going back in to the closet, and coming back out again... mixed in with a little porn (because that's what we all do here online, innit?!

ABOUT THE CLOSET..

2009-09-20T23:48:00.006+10:00

29 / M / SYDNEY..

Ahh the days of IRC... I remember coercing a number of screen names into the odd cyber-sex once upon a time. Nowadays, a life partner (on the right in the above photo, with our love child inbetween) / REAL sex life tends to have put a rest to that lifestyle.

So Cain9ine is the screen name I created when I needed a username for my first ever ISP. It combines the love of animals (not in a bestiality way, but if that's your thing I won't judge you in public), my favourite numeral, and of course my name: Cain.

I'm a graphic designer (if that's not obvious) / writer / photographer / traveller / Aussiebum (not in the employment sense, although I have tried).. type of person who indulges in queer blogs, porn and debates. I'm constantly in and out of the closet which has helped me empathise with people struggling to come to terms with their identity.

The aim of this blog is not to post news first (there are plenty of other good sites that do that). I only want to promote the hot guys, pictures, and archival information based on a personal preference... that's if I don't get distracted jerking off to it first.. but for now please enjoy this picture of a fluffy kitten sitting in a bed of roses, just like in American Beauty...

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